This is not the first time when I have decided that I am
going to get thin. But this is the first time in last many years when I know
that I am going to get thin. I am going to lose 16 kgs in next 16 weeks. I am
going to get thinner than I have been in years. I will be as thin as I was when
I met Mrityunjay for the first time. And I am going to lose all these weight
before Jiya’s next birthday.
Why
do I want to lose weight?
I have realized one thing. Weight is never just weight. Weight
is a measure of the will power a person has. Weight is a measure of the food a
person eats and the activities a person do. Weight means the respect a person
gets from people around him/her. There is a person in my life I love more than
my own life. She has acquired a new habit. She has started drinking more than
she should be drinking. This time when we were around, I badly wanted to tell
her that her drinking is excessive. But I didn’t. I didn’t feel it appropriate.
I feel that my own eating is addictive. I can call myself a sugar addict. I am
also a food addict. From morning till night, I keep thinking about food all the
time. All the time I am planning my next meal. If there is one thing which is
responsible for my obesity, it is my diet. And therefore I want to get rid of
this addiction. I want to free myself from this addiction. Once I am sober, I will
tell this person how I fought with my addiction. I don’t want to preach. I want
to be a live example of how to lead a healthy life. I want to be the person who
can help others getting thin. I want to trek my journey day to day. I want to
see how I lose these 16 kgs.
Today I don’t know how I will lose this weight. I just
know that in next 16 weeks, I will lose this weight. Even at this very moment, I
am feeling really hungry. Mrityunjay is much better in his will power in relation
to food. He eats in the morning and then almost for the whole day he doesn’t eat
anything. His next meal is at night. Starting today, I am eating 6 meals. The thing
is I need to make sure that other than the 6 meals I eat, I don’t eat even a morsel.
I am also planning to join the gym on weekends. I know I
can’t commit for more than that, so I don’t want to make false promises to myself.
I rather would say that I will work out 3 times a week and then do it rather than
saying I will work out for 5 days a week and do nothing about it.