16 WEEKS

This is not the first time when I have decided that I am going to get thin. But this is the first time in last many years when I know that I am going to get thin. I am going to lose 16 kgs in next 16 weeks. I am going to get thinner than I have been in years. I will be as thin as I was when I met Mrityunjay for the first time. And I am going to lose all these weight before Jiya’s next birthday. 

Why do I want to lose weight?

I have realized one thing. Weight is never just weight. Weight is a measure of the will power a person has. Weight is a measure of the food a person eats and the activities a person do. Weight means the respect a person gets from people around him/her. There is a person in my life I love more than my own life. She has acquired a new habit. She has started drinking more than she should be drinking. This time when we were around, I badly wanted to tell her that her drinking is excessive. But I didn’t. I didn’t feel it appropriate. I feel that my own eating is addictive. I can call myself a sugar addict. I am also a food addict. From morning till night, I keep thinking about food all the time. All the time I am planning my next meal. If there is one thing which is responsible for my obesity, it is my diet. And therefore I want to get rid of this addiction. I want to free myself from this addiction. Once I am sober, I will tell this person how I fought with my addiction. I don’t want to preach. I want to be a live example of how to lead a healthy life. I want to be the person who can help others getting thin. I want to trek my journey day to day. I want to see how I lose these 16 kgs.

Today I don’t know how I will lose this weight. I just know that in next 16 weeks, I will lose this weight. Even at this very moment, I am feeling really hungry. Mrityunjay is much better in his will power in relation to food. He eats in the morning and then almost for the whole day he doesn’t eat anything. His next meal is at night. Starting today, I am eating 6 meals. The thing is I need to make sure that other than the 6 meals I eat, I don’t eat even a morsel. 

I am also planning to join the gym on weekends. I know I can’t commit for more than that, so I don’t want to make false promises to myself. I rather would say that I will work out 3 times a week and then do it rather than saying I will work out for 5 days a week and do nothing about it.